Every person is a book, each year a chapter – Mark Twain
Before 2020 ends, let me tell a little story about the challenges I have gone through, that you might relate to yourself.
My top three challenges were heartbreak, financially broke, and career down.
Heartbreak.
I got depressed when my ex-husband left without knowing that he’s not coming back anymore.
” Hooray! I said to myself! I am free!”
But deep inside my heart, there was a hurt I just cannot describe. It was like a bone and flesh has torn apart.
For almost 8 years where we have been together, all of a sudden gone.
What a hurtful year of October 2019.
I supposed you want to know how did I survive?
Like everybody else, first I have gone through a lot of denials, feeling of anger, and unforgiving myself.
As a human, I need to survive, I need to live. My instinct told me to fight. Fight for me. Love me more. Of course, I have my family to support, but when I am alone I am not in good condition to think about what is right, the past kept on running through my mind even up until now.
But here is the thing… I am able survive loneliness, anger, denial, and a feeling of unworthiness.
This might be useful to your situation right now…
First, I increased my self-love. I did care for myself more. From the spiritual down to physical then emotional development.
Specifically, I did meditations and affirmations every early in the morning and right before I got to bed and even now I am still doing it.
This thing helped me a lot.
Then, attending church activities online. Though it was pandemic, it was good. That I have a story to tell on an online church activity to be a witness to everyone, that God loves us that He never left us, unlike humans who have limited and conditional love. This kind of activity increased my value.
While being busy with church activities I did clean my storage area, bed, kitchen in other words the whole house.
As I wake up early in the morning I put into my system the Zumba exercise mode. Every time I do this my emotions, my concentrations were diverted to positive conditions. It releases some negative emotions and this enables me to see myself as positively good looking.
Concentrations also improved because I got to plan what is good for my future.
Lastly, my emotional development.
I read lots of books including the Bible and watch youtube videos that are related all about personal development. In this way, emotions are turned into wiser emotions or feelings.
That made me open to a better view of myself.
Now, let’s move on to being Financially broke.
How did I survive this?
Before he left me out, he promised me that he is just going to work in a far place. If I could remember it is in Palawan.
But then the truth revealed after a month of him not talking to me, I got worried, the next day about early evening there were about 4 to 5 people who came to my apartment and asked him.
In short, these were the people who have been looking at my ex-husband.
They were scandalously when asking for him. I guess you already know the problem…yep… that is correct! About his financial debts.
If I am going to sum it up. I think close to a million. I have managed to pay half of it within the year, but I got tired. Tired of paying for the debt I did not spend.
So, what I did to survive?
So, I already asked the help of my mother and attorney to deal with these people who made scandalous actions to my personal space and working stations.
You know what? If you could only felt what I felt back then, It was shameful and I was devastated. Why?
The peak of success is equivalent to my shameful stories from scandalous actions, threats, and almost half of the year of not sleeping because of paying alone the debts I have not used even a single centavo of it.
Thank God, my family was there to rescue me. They sheltered, protected loved me, and accepted my wrong decisions in life.
They were my strong protector, who helped me get through with this. But of course, I did ask for the help of my aunty to pay half of it then I will pay her monthly.
Then, I did some sidelines, such as tutorial services, assessing TESDA students, training cookery and events management to different schools, writing services even the training I have learned from TESDA such as massaging stuff.
But, right now I am leveling up my skill for me to gain more finances for me to set my plan for the new year of 2021 to happen.
Lastly, my Career was down.
Being in an education job, will not prosper you unless you invested in studying such as pursuing masters or doctorate studies which I did.
But as for me sidelines were a bit hard because of so many rush and things needed to accomplish. Since I need to balance working while studying too.
My career was down because after I graduated in December 2018, I am having sidelines for me to pay his debts. After all, his debts did not start right when he left me but actually since the day we started our marriage and he did not provide in our long-term relationship.
Down….crashed. By multiple debts…because instead, I am focusing on things I needed to accomplish I needed to pause and lie low because I have been the talk of the town of the school I am working with the community where I lived.
Down, because I have encountered my co-teacher who has threatened me not only through text but also through private messages, that I cannot move freely in the school, so I decided to transfer near with my family.
I have to face people I did not know that my ex has a debt. That was unforgettable, unbelievable, and unexpected because my ex connected with her thought they were not even close to each other.
How did I survive it?
I moved from one place to another from being talked of the town I now have peace, I revived the private life of mine. Also, I can now concentrate on rebuilding a new better version of myself.
These were my top three challenges that I was able to survive this year of 2020.
I wanted to close this year strong. Bringing me lots of learning that I can use for the next chapter of my life.
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