Life is not Fair. Get used to it.
– Bill Gates
Are you the master of your life?
Have you been in a situation where you burst out in anger then later realized “I should have not said that” or “I should have not done that!”
So, if you were in this situation, sometimes there were moments in our life where we are so stressed, that we react emotionally and uncontrollably. Then later feeling of disappointment and regret or sorry are the only choice we have.
Here are some tips for you to control life:
- Practice Calmness
- Consider your long-term goals
- Provide warmth
Practice Calmness
Practice calmness by acknowledging the fact that you have encountered a problem or a stressor in your life. If you can easily recognize that, then it will be easy for you to decide, react and adjust positively. Because when you are calm, you see things clearly and you can assess things visibly. You can do that by simply inhaling and exhaling until your emotional brain gets back with your thinking brain. Dr. Siegel presented the hand model of the brain. Our emotional brain gets flight, fight or freeze whenever it senses stress, anxiety, or worry. So, it is important to acknowledge it and practice deep breathing to emotionally recover from stress.
Consider Long-Term Goals
Be mindful of your long-term goals in life. Whenever you are stress, you can simply remind yourself about your goals. Remind yourself when you are hurt, in pain, or stress that it will subside. Remembering your goals can empower you to manage your present moment. According to Dr. John C. Maxwell, a renowned author, speaker, leader, and Pastor that people have common simple needs. These are the 3A’s attention, affirmation, and appreciation. Instead of focusing on the sentiments. Focus on your goal, like you are to live your life peacefully. By having these on your mind you will simply increase your awareness and connections with other people.
Provide Warmth
Warmth means according to the free dictionary is the ability to be pleasant and friendly. Instead of responding immediately in a hurtful way, why not try to be warm. To be warm you simply need to communicate to others with love and empathy. In Psychology, medically reviewed by Laura Angers that empathy if you develop it can help others get through difficult times and better understand why people may be being difficult to themselves. May you be the one to change other’s life positively.
Since I am into the loving yourself campaign. I would like you to understand that it is my goal to influence you to respect yourself. There are so many people hurt nowadays, how can you differentiate yourself from them. How can you show love to others? How kindness, pleasantness, warmth, and friendliness can affect other people you come across with?
Being sensitive to others’ needs may impact not only the people you have been showing your love but more importantly, you are the most beneficiary of this. You can only show others that you are warm to them if you understand yourself very well. If you are self-aware about your needs you are also aware of how to meet others’ needs.
Conclusion
So, how will you get used to it with a life that is not fair? If you know how to calm your life, you can control your life. Then, if you keep on practicing it, it shows that you are the master of your life.
Calmness is a factor in life that is hard to master. But if you keep on doing it, well done! You have a beautiful life! Congratulations! You have a long way to go!
Remember that if you want to control others, you should start controlling yourself, it should start within you. You love yourself through mastering the management of those negative emotions!
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