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Highly Effective Marriage – Relationship that Last

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by Nancy Van Pelt

Philippine Publishing House 2008-2009

These insights are good for people who are just starting out a relationship this 2024, getting into marriage, or dating.

This book helps to inspire others to find determination, to make marriage work whether you
are just starting or whether you are on peak of turmoil on your marriage.

I have been a fan of Health and Home since my high school days. My mother used to purchase health and home books for me, because I love reading a book. As I matured and gained financial independence, I made it a yearly habit to subscribe to Health and Home.

So, one time, there was a woman who went in our school, every now and then, she is selling a magazine, or a collection of health and home book, so I bought books from her and one of this is Highly Effective Marriage.

Since this was my assignment in one of my subjects in Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) and Family Ministries that is why I have been wanting to share what I learned from this:

But before else let me tell you more about the author:

Nancy Van L. Pelt, an author who conducts seminars on family relationships across North America and around the world. Certified as a family life educator and family and consumer science professional, and has written 20 books on family life. She and her husband Harry lives in Fresno, California.. She is the author of the Compleat Courtship and Compleat Marriage, “Gordon O. Martinborough” I Love You * Ellen G. White” Child Guidance and Family Life Growth Series.

Recognizing lack of Christ centered family life educational tools, Nancy quickly developed a
series of workshops and books on marriage, parenting and dating. From that grew an individual ministry that spanned the globe and touched thousands of lives over the course of
more than 40 years.

There have been numerous studies shown and proven that having a long-distance relationship, especially for OFWs commits a lot of sin, and a lot of problems. Produces more broken
relationships. It is because of physical separation, emotional and psychological stress,
communication challenges, financial pressures, social and cultural adjustment, and infidelity. It affects the family, especially the children.

I am thrilled to share this book as it has truly opened my mind during my time at Bishop Han Theological Seminary (BHTS) while studying OFW and Family Ministry under the guidance of my professor Dr. Sharon May Ardanas.

  1. It is clear to me that marriage is a partnership, requiring the commitment and effort of both individuals. In my own experience, I found myself bearing the weight of the relationship alone. This was extremely painful, especially as I have always longed to create a loving and stable family due to my own upbringing in a broken home. To be honest, being in a relationship has been incredibly challenging for me, considering the past trauma I carry and the fear of experiencing further heartache. At this stage in my life, I am choosing to focus on maximizing my singleness and devoting myself to God and aiding those around me in their personal struggles.

2. No matter how many techniques and strategies you have been applying to your marriage, if you lack self-love, you won’t stay and will not have the capacity to love your partner better. This made me realize that self-love is so important. I thought it was being selfish, but it isn’t. As soon as you enter into a relationship, it is of great importance to have a balanced life, including your spiritual, personal, mental, emotional, physical, social, and relationship well-being.

3. Your most dedicated supporter, advocate, and champion is none other than God. In your own strength, it may seem impossible to effect change within yourself, but with God, you can address your weaknesses, such as coping with negativity, criticism, life’s struggles, and infidelity. Through the strength provided by God, you can endure and overcome the hardships of married life.

4. Back then, I was so focused on pursuing financial success that I neglected the other important aspects of life. Unfortunately, I came to realize that money cannot solve everything. As a result, our marriage suffered and eventually fell apart. I believe this book can truly benefit couples facing struggles in their marriage, whether they are dealing with the challenges of a long-distance relationship, seeking to improve their marriage, or on the journey of marriage for the first time.

5. Lastly, mentioned strategies, techniques, with the main guidance of God can do a powerful impact to the couple. If only two people would like their family to stay intact.

Is Divorce, Separation, and Annulment being the Solution?

In achieving a worthwhile family and meaningful life, in spite of distance is life’s greatest joys and most important factor in making life worthwhile.

So here are the words coming from the book of Highly Effective Marriage:

One way to prevent divorce, separation or annulment is to acquire as much as knowledge as possible about YOURSELF and how you respond in a relationship. Self-knowledge will greatly assist your transition into a new marriage.

We need to improve on this, on how to meet the needs of our partners. Meeting these simple needs provides the foundation for a caring relationship. When these needs are met, we want to stay married. When they go unfulfilled, we feel hurt, alienated, and distant from our partners.

Every couple should learn how to live with and manage these differences. When we are loving and kind, hundreds of credits flow into our mate’s EBA (Emotional Bank Account), creating the feeling that we are loved and accepted. When they criticized, the account can be seriously overdrawn.

Partners in a happy relationships develop good listening skills. As a couple, master the skills of effective listening and talking, they build the foundation for closeness and intimacy in their relationship.

Knowing the differences of man to woman especially how their brain works, how they process and summarize or conclude situations can figure out the reason why males and females respond and behave so differently.

Nancy Pelt told that the more she longer to continue in her ministry to families, the more she is convinced that the answer to the marital distress is not to be found in more romance, fun and excitement, or in better problem-solving skills – important as those are – but in the type of depth that comes when a COUPLE WORSHIPS AND PRAYS TOGETHER.

Maintaining a fulfilling sexual experience that will last for decades of loving requires deliberate action and energy, along with patience, understanding and creativity.

The challenge of being married is learning to keep a relationship romantic, interesting and alive through all the changing years of marriage.

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I am Anabeth Lopez, voice behind blooming amore blog. Learning is my Passion. I have the burning desire to help others live the art of Christian living with a mission to help annulled, separated, and divorce women to create their future beautiful life.

Website: http://bloomingamore.com
Posts created: 55

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